By Dave B.
In Disney’s adaptation of A Wrinkle in Time (2018, currently on Netflix) Meg, a middle school student, and her younger brother, Charles Wallace, are outcasts at their schools: Charles Wallace, because he’s a child prodigy and Meg because of the trauma she’s trying to deal with due to the disappearance of her father years earlier. The siblings, joined by Meg’s friend Calvin, encounter powerful beings and together they embark on a journey across the cosmos to find and return their lost parent.
I’m going to keep this short because it would be a waste of time to spend many words on this movie. It’s a mess in nearly every qualitative and quantitative way. At 109 minutes long, it’s too short to provide adequate narrative detail, but it feels like it lasts forever because it’s boring as hell. I actually fell asleep during the movie. Twice. The characters are unlikable, the acting is bad, and the dialogue is worse. While that’s bad enough in general, it’s especially unforgivable in this movie as it contains a talented cast including Oprah, Reese Witherspoon, Mindy Kaling, Zach Galifianakis, and Chris Pine. But there’s only so much that even the most talented cast can do with a screenplay as atrocious as this one.
The script is a confusing mess and nothing about it allows viewers to experience even the slightest bit of empathy for the annoying children. I also have to say that I never considered how annoying it could be to hear the name “Charles Wallace” said a million times in less than two hours. Just call the kid Charles! Or Wallace! Or anything else! The sole positive element in A Wrinkle in Time is that it’s visually impressive, but that’s largely irrelevant as the movie is nearly unwatchable.
Long story short, don’t waste your time watching A Wrinkle in Time. It’s so uninteresting that I can’t even have fun tearing it to shreds in this review. If I had paid to see this in the theater, my rage would have been boundless. Clearly, I don’t recommend this movie. If you ever feel compelled to watch it…just don’t.
I have no clue what I'm doing, but I'll keep doing whatever it is to the best of my ability.