The Titan Is Remarkably Average

By Dave B.

The Titan is another example of Netflix’s growing pains. Nearly everything about it is mediocre. The acting, the script, the cinematography…none of them are noteworthy in a positive or negative way. I’m not certain that I’ve ever seen a movie that left less of an impression on me. What can I say about a movie that was both too average to be boring and too average to be interesting? Let’s find out.

I liked the concept. The idea of bioengineering people to be capable of living on another planetary body is cool. With that as the foundation, a movie could be pretty solid. But, at 1.5 hours long, The Titan is too short. There is no time for character development. Protagonist, antagonist, supporting characters…all are hollow shells. Their motivations either unclear or irrelevant.

The end of the movie is just plain bad. It was as if the movie had managed to tread water for about 80 minutes and then just gave up hope for saving itself. If I had cared more about anything that had happened in the movie, I would’ve been furious at such a sloppy, derived ending. But since I didn’t care about anything that had happened in the movie, I was able to observe and note the crappy ending with Buddha-like calm.
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Superficially, it seems as if The Titan has all the elements necessary to make a good movie, but it lacks passion. The entire thing just feels phoned in. If you have curiosity about what it would feel like to watch the most average movie ever made, I can save you an hour and a half and just tell you: it feels like nothing. There is no need to watch this movie. 4.5/10